Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa

On a recent trip to the local tattoo parlor…

In Miscellaneous on August 27, 2010 at 5:32 pm

which I would like to point out, here in suburbia, looks more like a Pro-Cuts (strip shopping center locale and all), I took along a friend of mine whom I know through city council dealings. She’s amazing, and by far one of the coolest people involved with local politics, but still, I had to acknowledge that this was an odd place for us to end up on a Friday night. Here we are, two conservative, suburban housewives, both mothers, giddy about the fact that my face is soon to be impaled with yet another large, metal harpoon.

It’s assumed that we conservatives congregate on golf courses, at fundraisers or in the confines of our country club, but rarely do we turn up at tattoo parlors, even a tame ones as this.

Such a subtle happenstance really got my wheels turning. Perhaps I am just that unique of an individual, yeah, a truly non-conformist middle class, suburban Independent! Sure, me and all the rest of us.

I know I am not alone in my off the beaten political path lifestyle, Rod Dreher has shown me that much, but can I really claim to be that ‘crunchy’ of a Conservative? Honestly, no, not really.

I’m progressive in the sense that I was born during the Reagan administration, so my youth and global consciousness is a bit fresher than some of my fellow conservatives, but at the same time my husband still has to remind me which things have trans fat in them, that we shouldn’t water the lawn at 11:35am, and where exactly it is that we put the recyclables.

Labels are so un-cool these days that they are back to being cool again. And in the spirit of self-absorbed revelation, I’ve hereby decided to invest much of the time in which I could have been rinsing and sorting aluminum spaghetti-o cans, into labeling myself. So here it is. Wait for it. Wait for it. I am…………A PunkyCon.

*applause*

Why thank you, thank you, you are all too kind, no seriously sit down….this is just too much…oh, I love you too!

A sect of Dreherism, PunkyCons are conservative only in name, morals, convictions and voting records. They are often times known as the “pro-life nut jobs” in their circle of friends, they show up late to weekend music festivals because the pastor’s sermon ran long, they have as many bumper stickers on their cars as their liberal counterparts, they believe in the Bible, but they also believe in dinosaurs, they are actively involved in politics – meaning they actually do what their shirt says, and vote.

Among fellow conservatives, PunkyCons are often thought to be defectors, and are very familiar with the phrase “If only my grand babies saw things the way you do.” They are credited with making their political activist groups ‘cooler,’ and are usually put in charge of ‘Technology,’ which means they handle anything more difficult to operate than a remote control (a.k.a. a ‘clicker’). They help their ‘more seasoned’ conservative peers understand where a lot of younger Americans are coming from on issues such as health care, global warming, and why it’s not o.k. to say ‘colored’ anymore. They spike their tea and fight for their right to party.

Punkycons are exactly what their name says they are, because being anything short of this dichotomy would simply be too mainstream, too conformist.

I will fully acknowledge that we tend to fit awkwardly amongst our peers and our party but someday you will all realize and appreciate how we are a vitally unconventional spike in the American mohawk.

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