Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa

Theology on tap.

In Miscellaneous on August 27, 2010 at 7:02 pm

If you’re not familiar with this, it’s basically an evangelical outreach held in pubs. Pastors/Priests have started hosting ‘seeker sensitive’ meet & greets at bars in an attempt to draw in more wayward souls. The odd thing about this is, when I’m sober, I get it. I think it’s a relatively good idea; but when I’m drinking, as I was tonight, with some fellow Christians (yeah, I guess we’re all just sinners) debating theology….I dunno, maybe the Holy Spirit(s) moved me, but I totally chose to argue the against it.

I even went as far as to offer up one of my favorite teaching tools (let’s see if I can get the hand gestures to make sense in writing). Ok, so at the beginning the church was here *hand at the far right side of the table* and the world was here *hand about 4 inches over to the left* and then as time went on the world moved to here *move ‘world hand’ 4 inches to the left* and then the church followed *move ‘church hand’ 4 inches behind ‘world hand’ and so on and so on until finally you see that the church and the world might as well be one….and then we see that the world and church start voting far to the left! I kid, I kid, I leave that part out when I’m bar preaching.

(so anyway, go ahead and let it sink in for a minute…..if nothing else, out of respect for the fact that it’s my favorite easy preaching tool)

Ok, so anyway, as I am arguing my point *takes sip of Gin and Tonic* for why this is not the optimal situation for sharing the Gospel, I did not have the epiphany you all would like (“By golly, maybe this is brilliant!”) no instead I realized for the first time, as terrifying as it may be, yeah, the world is totally going to end in 2012.

Totally.

Say what you will, but guess what, I’m gonna have the last laugh because I’m RIGHT.

And if you’ve read my previous posts you know that I have been thoroughly prepared for this shiznit too (my indoctrination began at birth). Not that I want it….but I am on a much further level of acceptance then most of you suckers. Ok, so to back up my super, spiritual, scientific, splendorific hypothesis, check out this “data”…Rapture Index.

Holy Guacamole. No offense Jesus. But scary.

Like I said, I have my pre-trib-gas mask ready and all, but I just pray that the good Lord takes me up three sheets into the old testament at one of these ‘on tap’ sermons because otherwise you’re all liable to witness the first mid-air, flopping and flailing panic attack as we’re sucked up into the heavens. Because between my fear of heights with my tendency to shy away from the supernatural, my reaction might be anything but divine.

So while I may theologically disagree with them, when it comes to self medicating for the rapture, I understand the need for a bit of alcohol.

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  1. I love this Destiny. I can’t wait until I can have a few inebriated debates with you.

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