Destiny Herndon-DeLaRosa

Heaven

In Uncategorized on October 31, 2014 at 5:15 pm

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I go to tuck Eddie into bed tonight and as I brush my hand across her cheek I realize it’s covered in tears.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?” I ask.

“I wish that that guy never ate the apple,” she blubbers out between gasps. Sensing my confusion she goes on… “I just don’t want to grow up if you’re going to die and I’m not going to know you anymore. I hate you being dead.”

My heart breaks for her because I can absolutely relate. The thought of living a day without Eddie is excruciating. And yet I remember saying the exact same thing to my mom when I was little… searching for some kind of comforting reassurance that I needn’t worry. My mom always found just the right words, and when she said them it was the truth. Being on the other side of things, however, I know it’s a guess at best.

But I say it anyway. I say all the things I think a good mom would. I tell her how heaven is so beautiful our human brains can’t even comprehend it, and how I should be the one crying for her because she has to stay here in this broken world, but of course there are no tears allowed in heaven so I won’t be able to cry. I assure her that even though we might be apart at some point, in the end we will spend eternity together.

She chokes back that final cluster of sadness, and takes a few deep cleansing breaths. This answer seems to suffice, but only long enough for the wheels to start turning again…

“Mom, are killers kind of bad but kind of good too, because they kill you… but it means you get to go to heaven?”

Maybe it’s time to put Dallas Theological Seminary on speed dial…

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